Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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