don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize