I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
