We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
