I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Blow job season was short but glorious.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
