In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Pants are for mortals
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
