I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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