The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
