you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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