I look better un-naked...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
