There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
