It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
