don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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