The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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