a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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