She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
