it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
