i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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