Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
