what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
