we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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