Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
