oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
