Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
