I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
