I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize