we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
4 words: hood of his car
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
