After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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