If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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