We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
