I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
