Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize