apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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