getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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