she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
