does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
