Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
