I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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