Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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