i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
