The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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