barbara walters just said penis...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize