Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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