i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
