I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
