im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
