$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
