Christians are straight up FREAKS
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize