My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize