Kiss
Puke
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
