theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
