we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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