hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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