My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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