Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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