This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
