TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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