mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
