I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
