I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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