i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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