I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i was born a porn star she said
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
