She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
