So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
