hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
