Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
