remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
