wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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